Gunivortus Goos

Messengers were dispatched to announce the first Ting throughout Frisia. When the day finally arrived, a gathering of not only the customary free heads of families from the area but also delegates from across the county had assembled, including the hundred-elders, representing most kinship groups. They formed a large circle around the open space where the Ting tree stood, encircled by the increasingly bare treetops. Behind Harald stood his bodyguards: those who had not yet been sent away, along with newcomers who were studying faces to remember later. Many attendees whispered in surprise about the unexpected presence of the red-haired brother of the count, who stood beside Harald and the court servant. Harald began to address the crowd:
“With the start of my role in this gau, marked by this public assembly, a new era has dawned for the northern Netherlands. In Rustringen (which was in the 8th century a Frankish Gau in the northwest of current Germany), we have ushered in compassionate changes for the people. My men can attest to this.”
Harald turned slightly to his old guard, who nodded in agreement.
“Better times are now also on the horizon for Frisia. Under the esteemed protection of our imperial majesty, I hope to rectify the oversights of the past and eliminate injustices with your collective support. In our land, no one will face hunger, and no one will be punished without cause. Justice must prevail, but we must also prevent unnecessary suffering. Our judicial system will adopt a fresh approach. Defendants will have the option to be represented by a lawyer who understands the fine line between right and wrong. Among the offenses that will face stricter penalties than you might expect are all forms of tax evasion. These matters must be treated with the utmost seriousness, as what some keep for themselves must be paid by others. We will implement a new method of tax collection. No longer will we come to you; instead, you will need to handle this directly with the tax officer Eirik from Vendsyssel, a seasoned professional who knows his trade well. If you come within fourteen days, we will start anew—without penalties, without resentment, and without old debts.
In this new era, we are awakening to a fresh sense of patriotism; we are no longer merely Frisians, Danes, Germans, Franks, or Italians, but united as the inhabitants and defenders of Western Europe under our Emperor.”
A murmur swept through the crowd at this statement.
Harald paused for a moment before continuing: “Our Europe faces threats from multiple directions; just a year ago, the Saracens seized Sicily, a crucial gateway to Italy. Moorish armies are positioned at the southern border of Aquitaine in Spain, while the Vikings invade our lands, pillaging wherever they can. In Erin, they have destroyed your Countess’s castle. The armies maintained by the Emperor are solely focused on defending the realm; we do not seek conquest. However, our defenses reveal vulnerabilities.
I emphasize the importance of coastal defense and surveillance. A brave fleet of ships is to be tasked with safeguarding the Wadden Sea from imminent threats, ensuring that Frisian fishermen can pursue their trade safely. We will also assist them in properly preserving and keeping their catches fresh, enabling them to contribute as full members of the community by paying the taxes expected of them.
Our motto is strict but fair. I urge you to show kindness towards slaves and those who are unfree. Do not dwell on every minor irregularity—let the past be. Together, let us strive for a brighter future for ourselves and our children, for this is the path that Emperor Louis, in whose name we speak, wisely and graciously recommends.
During the meeting to make crucial decisions,” Harald raised his voice, as if he wanted even those not present to hear him: “The issues caused by the church will also receive our full attention.”
He paused for a moment, taken aback by the surprised and loud responses, before continuing, “We will also strive to enhance this nation, blessed with navigable rivers and canals, by improving our internal and external connections and establishing a robust, formidable merchant fleet.
However, let us first address a few minor legal matters left by my esteemed predecessor in this role. I have already released most of the detained individuals without hesitation, and now I ask for your focus on two remaining issues.”

A woman accused of a crime was brought before the Ting. Months of imprisonment had taken a toll on her once pristine appearance, yet her proud demeanor remained intact, earning Harald’s respect. He bypassed the usual inquiries about her name and residence, diving straight into the matter at hand: “You are accused of incest with an uncle. Do you confirm this allegation?” The woman lowered her head for a brief moment. He continued, “Perhaps our defense attorney would like to say something before the verdict is delivered or question the woman in a way that could clarify or exonerate her?”
Rurik rose and addressed the woman: “The indictment states that you lived with your uncle. Which uncle are we talking about? Is he your father’s brother?” “No.” “Then perhaps your mother’s brother?” “Neither. He is the widower of my mother’s sister.” “So, he is not related to you by blood?” The court official seemed ready to intervene, but Harald gestured for him to hold back.
“No, he was born in Finland,” the woman replied. “He wanted me by his side because I resemble the sister of my mother, his first wife.”
“Count,” Rurik then addressed Count Harald, “if there is no blood relation between the partners, then there can be no blood shame. In fact, there may be no shame at all, since neither of them is married to someone else. This relationship is built on a solid foundation; I believe it has the potential to evolve into a marriage that can be celebrated in the traditional manner. It is unfortunate that only the woman is held accountable here, while the man is not. It is understandable that he fled out of fear of the death penalty. However, fear is a poor companion. We no longer live in those dark times when fear was a daily, unwelcome reality. Fear drives people away from those they love; it compels Swedish men to abduct Danish children, only to hand them over when demanded to sacrifice a child to Egir or Wodan during their nine-year festival.”
Rurik took a moment to rein in his emotions before continuing, “It was fear that led Pilate to confirm the sentence of Christ’s crucifixion. But you, free Frisians, must never heed the voice of fear. This woman must be released immediately, and the pursuit of her lover must cease.” The crowd responded with quiet nods of agreement. Count Harald simply declared, “In the name of God and our esteemed Emperor Louis, the accused is acquitted of all charges and may leave this Ting freely!” The hundred-elder from the district of Hoogebeintum, a tall man with a wild, graying beard that had once been blonde, voiced his approval in a booming bass, prompting a wave of applause from all around.

In the second and final issue, the attention turned to an accusation of lese-majesty. A loquacious barber-surgeon had made indecent remarks about Emperor Louis while shaving esteemed gentlemen. The defendant faced his own troubles, as many blamed him for the untimely death of a relative.
“Are the witnesses present who heard these statements?” Count Harald inquired. At that moment, three elderly men stepped forward. “Will you swear by all that is sacred to you that you will speak the truth?” “We swear!” came the unified response from the trio. The land bailiff, with the support of the hundred-elder from Hoogebeintum, approached the witnesses and covered the ears of two of them, rendering them unable to hear. Harald then asked, “I would like to question the first witness: What words did you hear from the defendant?”
The witness replied, “He said, ‘Louis can’t even swing a weapon because he has to hold onto his teeth with one hand and his wife with the other, or else they’ll both run away.'”
This elicited a murmur from the audience.
“Did the defendant perhaps have too much to drink?” “He was at work, busy shaving Romke, my lord,” came the response. “Then intoxication seems unlikely,” Harald remarked.
Now, let us hear from the second witness. The court officer removed his hands from the second witness’s ears and then covered the first witness’s ears. The Count then inquired, “What do you remember the defendant saying?” “Louis can’t even hit a man, because then he wouldn’t be able to hold onto his teeth and his wife, and he wouldn’t dare to do that,” was the reply. “Thank you. You may step back.”
The third witness took the stand. The hundred-elder removed his hands from the ears of the third witness and directed them towards the second witness.
“Witness three, did you hear the accused, the barber, utter any words that could be deemed insulting to the imperial family?”
“Yes, my lord. I heard him say, ‘Ludwig can never ride against his sons’ armies, for he must hold his teeth with his hands while his legs are busy holding his wife.’”
This remark sparked a wave of laughter among those present, leaving the other two witnesses in a state of astonishment.
The count then turned to the barber and asked, “Accused, do you admit to having made about such statements regarding our esteemed monarch?”
Indeed, I did my lord Count – it seems that mockery may have momentarily clouded my judgment, yet I only spoke in jest to entertain, as is customary in my profession. I humbly ask for your mercy. I pledge to donate one hundred Solidi coins to the church for masses to be held for the soul of the Emperor and your immortal spirit. I seek leniency, Your Honor; as a fool, I briefly strayed from the right path. “
“The third witness may withdraw,” Harald announced, “and I now turn the floor over to Rurik, today’s defender.” Rurik began his address, capturing the attention of all present, including the three witnesses who were now free to listen to the remainder of the proceedings: “In my view, my lord Count, our Emperor is far too noble to be insulted by a scoundrel such as this man. However, this matter transcends my personal opinion. The true measure must be what the law dictates in this case. But even considering that aspect, I doubt the mockery of the emperor was meant to be taken seriously; it was more of a sharp remark regarding a recently published report rather than a deliberate insult. Such comments are often directed at older men who are with younger women—and our esteemed emperor is indeed advanced in age. Nonetheless, while it may be an inappropriate joke, it can be seen as served time given the lengthy pre-trial detention the defendant has already endured”.
A murmur of discontent rippled through the audience.
Rurik cleared his throat several times and continued, “What remains—referring to the imperial family—is undoubtedly a grave insult to our beloved empress. Having had the pleasure of knowing her a bit, I am confident that she would wish for this defendant to be torn apart, despite his bold admission of guilt. This is a crime that truly crosses all bounds of decency.” 
The palpable silence among those gathered under the court linden tree reflected a deep tension.
Rurik paused for a moment before continuing. “Yet, even for such grave sinners as these, I implore the judge to show mercy today. I ask him to impose this lenient punishment on the accused: after disrobing, he shall roll in the nettles.” The man flinched in shock but remained silent.
Harald pondered aloud, not addressing anyone in particular, “Do nettles actually grow at this time of year?” “Indeed, they do,” came the chorus of responses. The men living nearby were well aware of a spot where one could easily get stung by the over knee-high nettles—some even knew of a whole field not far off. A brief smile crossed Harald’s face.
He then delivered the verdict:
“In the name of God and the Emperor, we shall extend mercy once more. I hereby sentence the accused barber-surgeon, Sipke Sipkesz, to roll naked in fresh nettles three times in succession and to pay a fine of one hundred Solidi. The first part of the punishment must be carried out immediately. This session of the Thing is now adjourned!”
With the assistance of several volunteers, Sipke was swiftly stripped of his clothing and soon found himself rolled in fresh nettles, three times back and forth. His screams echoed with indescribable agony. Yet, instead of succumbing to unconsciousness after the punishment, he shouted, “Pee on me! Drench me as much as you can, pee, pee!” The men had stood at the Thing long enough to feel a significant pressure on their bladders, and the crisp autumn air only intensified the urge. Some were already scanning the area for a place to relieve themselves. Once Count Harald granted his permission, many men hurried forward, unfastening their trousers to urinate generously on the body of the punished. Sipke then turned to ensure the liquid reached his most painful areas, particularly his chest, legs, and face.
The count’s bodyguards eagerly contributed to the spectacle; they too lowered their trousers, instinctively directing their streams particularly towards the eyes of the condemned man. After a moment of hesitation, the hundred-elders from near and far joined in as well. To maintain their dignity, Harald, Rurik, and the court official refrained from participating. The official deemed this act of leniency inappropriate and thus denied it to the condemned. Consequently, he took pleasure in relieving himself against a tree.

Afterward, the count and his men returned to their horses. Gorme Grote, a key aide to the count, approached Rurik and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. Harald remarked, “Rurik has behaved splendidly; this initial act will spread like wildfire in Frisia. We must, of course, be cautious that it doesn’t become a regular occurrence.”